Hypocritical Greeks

As Greeks we often expect our aspirants to let go of the bad habits that we hold so dearly. Ladies, how can you not want to put someone down because she is promiscuous but some very visible people in your chapter are the same way? Gentlemen, why do we say "He doesn't do enough service?" but we can't get half of our chapter to participate at a service project unless it involves being seen by the rest of the campus? How messed up are we that we can be so hypocritical? We really need to take an honest inventory of our ownselves before we pass judgment on who is and isn't good enough to be in our organizations because, based on some of the reasons we give, we shouldn't be allowed to wear our own letters either. No one is perfect and we're all trying to improve our chapters, but please look at the rubric you're using to judge others and allow it to be a guideline for your own lives. And more important than your own rubrics, look at the aims of your founders. Would they put you down? For most Greeks I see and based upon most of the things I see on their Twitter timelines and in their tagged Facebook photos, the Jewels (or whatever you call your founders) would look at us and feel disrespected that we even showed up at an interest meeting while making such questionable decisions, much less that our chapters voted to put us down.

Sad thing is, most of you will read this and think I take it too seriously. The even sadder thing is, too few of us take it seriously enough. I did too much to get into my fraternity (Disclaimer: 2 weekends and paid my dues) to let it fall. That's why I take it seriously. And if you don't, I question what whatever you did (if anything substantive) really meant to you.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Don't Just Play Your Part (Do It For the Kids)

I hate when people give the excuse "That's not my role" as to why they can't do something. Maybe it's not but don't sell yourself short. Get better and get it done. I'm not the best hooper in the world but I practice so I am at least well rounded when I step on the court.

Some people are ok with doing very well at the least important things. I love watching step shows and stroll offs just as much as the next brother. But if you're stepping or throwing the best parties and at the same time doing little to no service and your grades are mediocre, what is the point? I guess just so you can look like you run the yard. But, when you start caring more about helping kids than you do about looking good and being seen, you really will be the brother or soror you said you wanted to be when you came to the interest meeting.

No one came in and said "I just want to be a letter wearer." If pledging people and stepping are the only reasons you're tired, you aren't doing anything of substance. Those things will one day be forgotten but no kid is going to forget the person who made them want to be an Alpha or a Delta or an AKA or a Que or anything else.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

To My Teachers

I can truly say that I have had some magnificent teachers in the past. I really don't know where I would be without these ladies. From the black teachers who really instilled a sense of self pride to the white teachers who continually nurtured my learning, I really can say that I am thankful for my early education.

Sarita was my teacher for kindergarten and first grade. Her son was my first friend in elementary school and, even at a young age, she let me know that I, as a black male, would be successful. She made Brother Dr. King my role model. She saw me get into my first fight at school and, years later, told me she was proud of me for not letting the older kid walk all over me (though she had to put me in time out at the time). Little did I know that we would both be Phirst Pham. 06-08-Oh yeah ;-)

Ms. Exum was stern but loving. Another black lady who blessed me by imparting more than book learning, but also a lot of wisdom. She also saw me fight and put me in timeout but, once again, it was a learning experience. She taught me the importance of being able to properly spell and punctuate and she is probably the reason that I have such disdain for people who make lazy grammatical errors.

Ms. Buck was my first white teacher but it really didn't matter. She saw race, embraced it, and taught me to do the same. I remember one of the white kids in my class said something to me that was racially motivated and she as well as her assistant Ms. Colpitts handled it right away. I really appreciated that. Prior to her doing that, I really felt like my black teachers were the only ones who cared about my blackness and they showed that there were white people who cared just as much.

Also in 3rd grade, I was placed in advanced math. I was the only black kid in my class but it wasn't weird. I just knew that meant I would have to work harder than the white kids so I could do better than them.

In 4th grade, I had another white teacher, Ms. Basnight and her gorgeous assistant Ms. Goode. Me and all my boys had a crush on Ms. Goode. Ok, I guess that has nothing to do with education but she was fine. Anyway, Ms. Basnight saw that I was smart and that I was more mature than a lot of the kids and that elevated the level of work she expected from me. I'm glad she made me realize that I was on a different plane because it forced me to realize that someone else's best might be my worst but that I should always strive for my best.

My 5th grade teacher was the teacher that defined me. Ms. Thomas was the final chapter of my elementary learning and she was a great way to end it. First of all, she went to my church in Durham so I knew her for being a good woman but I found out she was just as good of a teacher. She really loved her students and, the closer we got, the more I loved her. She never let me settle for less than my best and even tried to push me past that. It was with her that I discussed my first reading of Alex Haley's Roots. It was she that I check on whenever I go home (though those visits are now few and far between). She really made me a stronger, more aware, more conscious black man and I really thank her for that.

Ms. Mack was my principal during my time at Seawell Elementary. She was a major part of my success as well. Just knowing that I knew the principal well and, if I ever needed anything, I could go see her added to my level of confidence and it let me know the importance of networking, even at a young age.

I am going to skip over a bunch of people right now but I want to touch on 3 more teachers real quick.

First, I would be remiss if I did not mention my 8th grade Social Studies teacher Ms. Scott. That year, I distinctly remember learning about North Carolina history all year long. She made a state that I considered boring before a very interesting one. But even more than her teaching, I loved her personality. She was so candid. I really appreciate how straight forward she was and I think that, because she realized that I was more mature and ambitious than most others in my class, she could share that side of herself with me. She let me know in no uncertain terms that I always had to work twice as hard to get half as far. That has proven true for my entire life. She retired a couple years back and I hate that for all the kids who won't get to have her, but I guess no one can teach forever...

Ms. Parrish, my AVID teacher for 7th and 8th grade. First, to explain, AVID stands for Advancement via Individual Determination and it is somewhat of a tracking program for driven students (mainly minorities) who, without AVID, might not know that they have the resources needed to succeed right in front of them. AVID changed my perception of what is and isn't possible for me. Getting accepted into the program in 7th grade meant that, for 6 years straight, I would be polished for an opportunity to attend a 4 year college or university. Ms. Parrish made sure that her students were taking advanced math and English classes to prepare us for high school honors and AP courses. AVID class itself wasn't hard but the program had me a few steps ahead of my other friends who were taking the basic courses. It made me feel as if I was among the elite. I was in the Talented Tenth.

Ms. McClelland is the second part of my AVID experience. In high school, AVID is all about honors and APs. Freshman year, AP courses weren't offered for freshmen so I just took honors, but after that I was in 1-2 APs each year. I passed each of my AP courses and received college credit for them. Ms. McClelland was more than just a teacher though. She was like a mother. When I wanted to go to Cornell for a summer program and my family couldn't afford it, she helped me find money from the school system. When I applied to college and for scholarships, she wrote me letters of recommendation. She got me into the Minority Student Achievement Network which led to me being able to travel around the country representing my school district, and ultimately getting my name into a Harvard publication.

As I said before, I don't know what I would do without the help of these beautiful women but I do know where I would not be and that is where I am going.

The picture above is a photo of me being inducted into an honors society based on my all around success on campus. It is my second to be inducted into, the first based solely on academic success during my first year. But I did not do it by myself. I stand here thanks to those ladies who are holding me up still. And this is just the beginning.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Everything that Glitters...

New rule. Do unto others as they have done to you. If they have done you no wrong, do them no wrong. If they have done you no right, use your discretion.

For the longest, I lived by the rule "Do unto. Others as you would have them do unto you." Great in theory. In actual practice, people find ways to manipulate you and they take your kindness for weakness. I used to be the "Turn the other cheek" kind of person. Not anymore. That is not to say go into each situation swinging, but rather to say "You only have 2 cheeks. How many times will you allow them to hit the one that was hit 2 times before?"

This is not refuting Jesus' teachings at all but rather forcing us to realize that Jesus did not want weak disciples. He wanted people who could stand up for what they believed in and do so with compassion and not gullibility. He preaches (present tense b/c the Word is living) forgiveness, not forgetfulness. Be wise and not naïve. If someone stabs you in the back 2 times in 1 day, will you really give them a 3rd try or at least be wise enough to allow yourself to heal and strengthen? Sometimes people need to mature before they can truly appreciate good people. If you don't serve as the catalyst for that maturing process, you are doing both yourself as well as them a disservice.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

There Is No Competition 3

I often wonder why I work so hard to be excellent. It is b/c I don't feel like I have any competition. To be better than someone else is either to be myself or to be worse than myself but I just don't see anyone who is on my level. That is not to say that I am the best at everything but I do very well at those things that actually matter. I would never say I'm smarter or stronger than everyone but I am very well put together and, in realizing that, I do not measure my own successes by those of another but my how well I reach my own goals.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Death

In my CED class we're doing movie presentations. Today this young lady presented on the movie "The 5th Quarter." It focuses on the fact that a D1 football player's younger brother died as a result of injuries sustained in a car accident. Definitely made me think. Were my little brother taken off of life support, I don't know how I would react. I would probably shut down like the football player did...

Death is a part of life but I'm thankful it hasn't hit my immediate family.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Got Change?

People change. Feelings change. The problem is people's feelings do not change at the same time, thus causing more feelings to arise from the person whose feelings have remained the same. This is in any relationship. If you are in/have graduated from college, think about your friends from your hometown who are still there. They are probably saying that you have changed. If they aren't, you are not growing at all in college and you are probably wasting your time. And, in all actuality, you have changed. College is built to make you grow. They, too, are growing but the difference is that college serves as a catalyst to give us many more life experiences in a shorter amount of time so that we can be more productive at an even younger age. Just had change on my mind. So go make some.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown