Real vs. Fake

"Champagne to all my real friend and real pain to my sham friends" - Montgomery Brogan

Too often, we forget who took care of us when we really needed it. I know I have done it. We fail to be there for them when they in turn need us. I know I have failed at it. How many times have I looked to a friend for help sometime after doing them a favor and, without mentioning the favor I did, asked them for assistance, only to be told "I don't have time?" How often have I done it? How often have you? Or, even worse, how many times have I told someone I don't have time for them and turned around and asked them for something in the following weeks? Real friends are hard to come by. Fake friends are easy. A real friend will clean his mess after he makes it. A fake one will leave the trash on your floor, and walk out the door each time. A real friend will eat your food when he comes to your house and let you do the same at his home. A fake friend will eat your food at your house and say he has to save all his food when you visit him. I could go on and on but you get the picture. Really people, think about the kind of friend you are being. And to the Greeks, you wearing those letters doesn't mean a thing if you won't offer what you can to another who shares that bond. You don't have to like the next man (or woman) to love him (or her).

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Sisters

"Sisters hold you down..." -- Jay-Z

I really wanted to write a post for two of my sisters just because they have played a major role in my life since I met them both in Reynolds. One has held me down for what is soon to be all 5 years. The other has definitely been a friend from the jump but, as our friendship has grown, I have been able to call her a sister. Neither of them are related to me, but they both hold me down every time I need them (and even when I don't want to hear what they have to say). I can say that they both are two of a very few people outside of my siblings and line brothers who understand me. I can also say that they are two people who I trust to no end. I know that, no matter what, if I need them, I can call them. Neither of them have ever asked me for anything and both always think of my well being before they tell me to go for what I want. So thank you ladies. I'm not going to put y'all on blast online but I told you that this post was for you. Thanks. Love you both.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Going on 2 Years

I put an unprecedented amount of faith in my line because they always hold me down, whether or not it benefits them. I can go down the line and think of sacrifices each of them have made for me and vice versa. I don't care how much we may argue, call each other an idiot, wrestle, or anything of that nature, I know all 6 of them will always have my back. I know I can trust them to tell me when I'm wrong, but more importantly, when I am wrong, I can trust them to stand beside me. They could never do another thing for me in life and I would still be indebted to them forever. And this isn't a knock at any of my other friends because I love you all too, but no one outside of my blood and my wife will ever be closer to me than you all are. That's love.

D.E.A.R. WINtE.R.
Playboi Pi Zeta
Alpha Phi Alpha
Fall 2008

#1. Stevan Dozier ~ Aud-ACE-c.i.t.i.
#2. Brady Moore ~ Born Ident-TWO-ty
#3. Deryle Daniels ~ In-TRE-c.u.t. reBUTTall
#4. Myreon Sutton-Johnson ~ APE-TIME
#5. Alvin Francis ~ Lion-ID-us
#6. Cameron Ragland ~ SphInX
#7. Jeremy Herring ~ END-Avisible


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

You Are Appreciated

Everyday I'm learning that it is harder and harder to find good people. I really appreciate the people who God has put into my life. Today, my money was tight, but I ate. My friend who works at a resturant hooked me up with lunch and my line brother (whose money is just as tight as mine) and I combined our money to get some dinner. Life isn't about what others can do for you but rather what you can do for others. And the blessing is that, even when you don't expect it to, all that comes back to you.
More importantly, I want to show appreciation for all the friends who aren't always seen as the reason for my successes. The ones who put the smiles on my face at the most random times. Everyone knows what my family and my LBs and my girlfriend and my real close boys mean to me. That's displayed all the time via Facebook and Twitter. But the people who I can attribute my minor level of success to are the people who aren't always around. It's the cousins and the friends who might send me a random text once every 4 months but it's right when I need it. Or it might be the AKA who just drops a line in the PhirstPham BBM chatroom that says "Everyone have a blessed day." Or it might just be the friend from freshman year who decides to always be there whenever you need to talk. Either way, I really appreciate everyone in my life. Life is too good to let another moment go by without telling someone you know that you love him/her. So that is what I'm going to do. I appreciate those of you who don't hear it from me on a weekly basis. No matter how insignificant a role you think you play in my life, you really might be the one who makes my day.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Less Shallow, More Real

So often we think we know people's stories because we know the way they carry themselves. We think that, because people can speak proper English, they come from money. Or we think that, because someone is always smiling, they haven't got a care in the world. I could go on but preconceived notions are endless.

In all actuality, people are very rarely who they initially paint themselves to be. Last night I was talking to my closest friend and she said I lied early on in our relationship. I asked "About what?" She proceeded to tell me and I let her know that I didn't lie but I did intentionally omit the truth. She and I just weren't at the point in our friendship where I felt like I could be completely up front. And it had nothing to do with her but more with the fact that, to the general public, I like to seem like I have it all together. When people sit around in groups with people that they only have a professional relationship with and tell their deepest secrets, I have to ask "Why would you let your guard down that much?"

Until I can say "I trust you," you will know my beliefs, my leadership style, and my personality. You might even know certain things about my life. But everything you know will probably be the same thing that anyone who stumbled across this blog could see. And I probably won't say "I trust you," until you have held me down in some way, shape or form, and until you have allowed me to do the same. How you can have a best friend who doesn't know anything about your life before they met you is beyond me, but in this era of instant gratification, I find us more and more frequently signing up for friends like you sign up for an excercise course in the rec. How about we make people earn the right to be called our true friends? How about we put in the effort that it takes to develop a genuine love for someone?

Just something to think on.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

We Used To Be Tight

You ever lose a friend?

Not "lose" in the sense of death. I mean "lose" like "Damn. We used to be so tight. Now we don't talk at all. What happened?"Last week I kicked it w/ some of my boys from home. Today I talked with my best friend from high school who I haven't spoken with since December. I really miss my friends even though we have taken different paths.

I have lost too many friends during my time at UNCG. Some I lost the moment I graduated high school, others I lost gradually as I worked to graduate from college. It really isn't a good part of life, but I guess it is a necessary one.

As we grow people change. I sure as hell have changed. Sometimes we change at a rate that mirrors that of our friends. Sometimes we don't. I was thinking about grad school when I graduated from high school. Now that I'm preparing to graduate from college, I'm planning my steps toward being stable enough to have a family and retire by 50. Humbly speaking, I am always mentally ahead of most of those who are demographically beside me.

But that makes life hard. I get frustrated with people not having aspirations. You don't need to know where you will be step by step in 10 years but you need to be taking some steps toward somewhere. Complacency is not attractive. But I find that so many people who are initially interesting lose their appeal because they have no real life goals. "I want to be rich" or "I want to get married" isn't enough. You have to know what you want and how you plan to get there. Otherwise you are just going through the motions, only to eventually hit a wall that you can't scale because you've been taking baby steps toward nowhere your entire life.

That's why I lose most of my friends. There are a certain relationships that I let go of because it just wasn't there anymore. But in those situations, I still say "Damn. We used to be so tight."

To everyone who I consider a friend, ever considered a friend, or will consider a friend, I will always give you my first and my last. That is a promise..

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown