Our Spirits

"This that Dirty Money muthaf***a" -- Diddy

Do you ever think about the music you put into your spirit? About the songs you sing just because the tune is catchy? I have been thinking about that lately. The continual cursing and negative thoughts flood the music and create a fault in our minds that allows it to seep into our spirits. In the Dirty Money song "Someone to Love Me," Diddy says "I curse more." Even though, contextually, that has nothing to do w/ the music directly and is more about the loss of something positive, I can relate it to the lack of positive music. Cursing in music these days has nothing to do with anger or pain but instead is just a verbal filler. Problem is that those verbal fillers are curses. Look up the word curse. It is "something that causes harm or evil." So when you're tweeting "f*** my life," you are speaking a curse on your life. Something to think about.

Diddy said "You can't f*** with me? I can't f*** with you." Why couldn't "f***" be replaced with "rock" or "mess" or "chill?" I won't say I don't curse but I feel like the excessive cursing our generation and our parents' generation accepts is embarrassing.

I caught myself cursing around my parents the other day and I was ashamed. Even though it was in my home, I feel that it displays a lack of respect. I also feel that, by cursing around ladies in public, I am showing a lack of respect. And it might be sexist, but I just have a problem with anyone, but women in particular, cursing excessively in public. When every 5 sentences or tweets has a curse or a sexual reference in it, I just have to question if your actions match your language.

Quickly because I don't want to dwell on it, I based this post on Diddy's album but what's really been messing with me lately has been Kanye's album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. It is a great album, musically but I feel like, each time I listen to it, I'm listening to the direct opposite of gospel. I can't even really rock with it anymore. There are a couple of tracks on there that I catch myself listening to but the CD lyrically sounds like he worships Satan. "At the mall there was a seance just kids, no parents. Then the sky filled with herons I saw the devil in a Chrysler LeBaron. And the hell, it wouldn't spare us and the fires did declare us." I listened to the CD all the way through and picked up on an avg of 2 references to either Satan, suicide or just Anti-Christian beliefs. I hate it because I used to rock with Kanye too hard. Now I have to think too hard when I listen to him to even enjoy his music.

I will probably keep cursing for a while but I will try to be more conscious of it and, eventually, I will eradicate the ignorant use of unbecoming verbiage.

Another rant from me. Just my thoughts.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

What Are Excuses?

*shoutout to Yivkarah for the pic

Time for another Greek Life post.

Lately, I've been talking to my friends Charity and Brittany a lot. We believe that, too often, people pledge for the wrong reasons. One thing I was told by one of my big brothers is that I pledged Alpha Phi Alpha through the Pi Zeta chapter and not vice versa. Regardless of where I went to school, I was going to be an Alpha. Had I not been Pi Zeta, I would have tried to get down Eta O or Mu Tau or the Alpha chapter if that's where life had taken me. And if I didn't get selected for the undergraduate ranks, I would have gone grad. I didn't do it for the stepping or the jacket b/c 1 - I can't step and 2 - I don't really need a line jacket. I didn't even do it for my line brothers, though I wouldn't trade them for anything. I did it because Alpha Phi Alpha impacts the community in a way that I saw as necessary and I wanted to be apart of it. I'm thankful for the network but I don't need Alpha's network to be successful. I'm thankful for the accolades it has brought but I would have gotten them by myself. I already had a strong resumé before Alpha. I wanted that brotherhood and that service. Too many people get in, are excited until they become prophytes, and then push the work off to the neos.

Pledging has become like marriage; the term lifetime commitment means very little to most people these days. Make the necessary sacrifices to do what you must and be an effective force in your organization. All Greeks have stayed up late at night and dealt with little sleep. How do you think we got the grades to get in the organization? But when we get in, we let our grades slip, we make excuses (What are excuses?) as to why we don't have the time to do service, and/or we choose to spend our money on liquor and other vices instead of helping our frat or sorors. So did you really pledge or are you just another letter-wearing person who isn't even holding up the values for which your organization was founded? And I can say this about people from Alphas to Iotas, touching on every organization in between. Let's really take an honest inventory of ourselves and then make better decisions on the people we bring in. But you can't ask anyone else to do something that you're not doing.

Next, I want to touch on the way that we bring people in. Aside from the M.I.P. part, we don't attract people in the right way. Guys, we often stand behind our tables and don't approach the young guys to speak to them. Girls, you all always sit behind your tables. Why do people have to be treated the way you were? That's what perpetuates this cycle of slack Greeks. What makes me any better than any aspirant? Yes, I have what they want and they will still come in the way I came in, but let's at least know that we appreciate them coming by the table or coming to our programs. Let's serve as mentors to these freshmen, regardless of what organization they want to be in.

That leads me to my next point... We tell freshmen not to flip flop but who cares if someone comes to your program and then decides that they want to attend another organization's interest meeting or rush? Especially if it's early on in their collegiate life? It's one thing to come in and tell the whole campus "I'm going to be an Alpha" and then pledge Kapp but maybe the person is genuinely interested in the program you're throwing. Or maybe he is on the fence and wants to make sure his heart is in it. And maybe it's not an reflection on that aspirant but on our ability to really hold up the light of our organization (For more clarification, see Luke 6:42). Either way, we really have to stop being so judgmental because half of us were in the same boat our freshman year (not me but I know plenty of people who were).

And I'm not talking about anyone in particular. But if you think I am talking about you, maybe I am and I don't even know it.



Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Please Be Thankful

"Thank God for granting me this moment of clarity. This moment of honesty" -- Jay-Z

Sometimes I just want to know something for sure. Something other than the fact that I'm going to be successful. I want a sense of stability in life and I just don't have it. I want normal for more than 2 months at a time. But it doesn't happen. That's why I have to be successful. If I'm not, my kids will be wishing they had normal and I can't deal with that.

I really want to be able to complain about stuff like Christmas gifts that I didn't get and the fact that my parents are getting on my nerves for asking me to come home so much. But I can't. So I complain about the stuff that matters like not seeing my little cousins for Christmas or not going to church on Sunday. So often people get caught up in the unimportant things but are you really thinking about what you do have? Probably a lot more than other people.

This isn't a pity post. Were it one, I would have gone beneath the surface. This is a post saying please realize that things could be much worse. Life is good. Even a bad day of life is still a day of life which is blessing. And tomorrow will come. Make the best of your tomorrow if today isn't what you want it to be.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Content of my Character

I hate when people lock their cars when I walk by. Whether I have a suit on or a black sweat shoes, it always happens. Sometimes it makes me really self-conscious about my ability to succeed in America. I am a well-dressed man without any visible tattoos or indications that I would be a robber. I really want to walk up to a car and ask the driver what made them feel unsafe at that time but I feel like they'll take my approach as hostility. So I guess for the rest of my life I will be the well-dressed car jacker. Take a walk in my shoes.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Rule Still Stands

I feel like, no matter how much I try to make people, no one will understand the decisions I make. I live my life the way I do because of things I have learned. I have learned how to care with a callous. I have learned how to love with caution. I know that people are untrustworthy but that you must trust everyone to an extent. Family can not be chosen but the amount of stress that you let them put on you can be limited. Money cannot buy happiness but it's a damn good down payment. Eventually, everyone takes a hard worker and a great love for granted. And eventually, everyone you put any sort of investment in will disappoint you. If they never do, it is because you are a disappointment to them.

All of these lessons are things that influence my decision making. It might not be as visible as the words I have written but at the same time, they impact what I do from day to day. I thoroughly believe all of these statements. I believe in them so much that I post them here with the hopes that some people will prove them wrong. But no one can prove them wrong b/c most people will always prove them right. And that makes that one person an exception, but the rule still stands.

Just felt like venting.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Many Hats

"I want to get away. I wanna fly away" -- Lenny Kravitz

Sometimes I feel like moving far away and starting over. I get tired of setting the standard for success and trying to meet people's expectations of excellence. I feel like there is so much that is expected of me but I am only one man. I'm expected to be the perfect gentleman, a model Christian, the face of Alpha, the dream boyfriend, the well-versed scholar, the polished speaker, the logical advisor, the benevolent provider, the well-groomed businessman, etc. In actuality, I feel like I am just one person who wears so many hats and, in all actuality, I should only be wearing. Still, here I am, in Greensboro, in North Carolina, in the South where none of this will ever change. I have to get away.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

It's My Birthday

World, today I turned 23 years old. I appreciate all of the phone calls, text messages, letters, e-mails, Facebook posts/comments, tweets, BBMs, KiK msgs, cards, gifts, words of kindness, kisses, hugs, thoughts, prayers, et cetra. Today has truly been a blessing. I love all of my family and friends and I definitely am thankful for my siblings (blood and otherwise), my fraternity brothers and my amazing girlfriend who made today even more special than I deserve.

The best gift I could have gotten, however, was given to me by God 2,000+ years ago. He gave me His son and I am very thankful that, on my birthday, I know it's not about me. Without my Father, none of today would be possible. And without him, my first cousin, who was in a car accident 6 days ago, would not be alive. So, I thank God first for letting my 21 year old cousin Damian C. Jackson live and secondly for letting me see this day. This has truly been a great birthday. Thank you all again.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Litera scripta manet. - Unknown