Our Spirits

"This that Dirty Money muthaf***a" -- Diddy

Do you ever think about the music you put into your spirit? About the songs you sing just because the tune is catchy? I have been thinking about that lately. The continual cursing and negative thoughts flood the music and create a fault in our minds that allows it to seep into our spirits. In the Dirty Money song "Someone to Love Me," Diddy says "I curse more." Even though, contextually, that has nothing to do w/ the music directly and is more about the loss of something positive, I can relate it to the lack of positive music. Cursing in music these days has nothing to do with anger or pain but instead is just a verbal filler. Problem is that those verbal fillers are curses. Look up the word curse. It is "something that causes harm or evil." So when you're tweeting "f*** my life," you are speaking a curse on your life. Something to think about.

Diddy said "You can't f*** with me? I can't f*** with you." Why couldn't "f***" be replaced with "rock" or "mess" or "chill?" I won't say I don't curse but I feel like the excessive cursing our generation and our parents' generation accepts is embarrassing.

I caught myself cursing around my parents the other day and I was ashamed. Even though it was in my home, I feel that it displays a lack of respect. I also feel that, by cursing around ladies in public, I am showing a lack of respect. And it might be sexist, but I just have a problem with anyone, but women in particular, cursing excessively in public. When every 5 sentences or tweets has a curse or a sexual reference in it, I just have to question if your actions match your language.

Quickly because I don't want to dwell on it, I based this post on Diddy's album but what's really been messing with me lately has been Kanye's album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. It is a great album, musically but I feel like, each time I listen to it, I'm listening to the direct opposite of gospel. I can't even really rock with it anymore. There are a couple of tracks on there that I catch myself listening to but the CD lyrically sounds like he worships Satan. "At the mall there was a seance just kids, no parents. Then the sky filled with herons I saw the devil in a Chrysler LeBaron. And the hell, it wouldn't spare us and the fires did declare us." I listened to the CD all the way through and picked up on an avg of 2 references to either Satan, suicide or just Anti-Christian beliefs. I hate it because I used to rock with Kanye too hard. Now I have to think too hard when I listen to him to even enjoy his music.

I will probably keep cursing for a while but I will try to be more conscious of it and, eventually, I will eradicate the ignorant use of unbecoming verbiage.

Another rant from me. Just my thoughts.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

What Are Excuses?

*shoutout to Yivkarah for the pic

Time for another Greek Life post.

Lately, I've been talking to my friends Charity and Brittany a lot. We believe that, too often, people pledge for the wrong reasons. One thing I was told by one of my big brothers is that I pledged Alpha Phi Alpha through the Pi Zeta chapter and not vice versa. Regardless of where I went to school, I was going to be an Alpha. Had I not been Pi Zeta, I would have tried to get down Eta O or Mu Tau or the Alpha chapter if that's where life had taken me. And if I didn't get selected for the undergraduate ranks, I would have gone grad. I didn't do it for the stepping or the jacket b/c 1 - I can't step and 2 - I don't really need a line jacket. I didn't even do it for my line brothers, though I wouldn't trade them for anything. I did it because Alpha Phi Alpha impacts the community in a way that I saw as necessary and I wanted to be apart of it. I'm thankful for the network but I don't need Alpha's network to be successful. I'm thankful for the accolades it has brought but I would have gotten them by myself. I already had a strong resumé before Alpha. I wanted that brotherhood and that service. Too many people get in, are excited until they become prophytes, and then push the work off to the neos.

Pledging has become like marriage; the term lifetime commitment means very little to most people these days. Make the necessary sacrifices to do what you must and be an effective force in your organization. All Greeks have stayed up late at night and dealt with little sleep. How do you think we got the grades to get in the organization? But when we get in, we let our grades slip, we make excuses (What are excuses?) as to why we don't have the time to do service, and/or we choose to spend our money on liquor and other vices instead of helping our frat or sorors. So did you really pledge or are you just another letter-wearing person who isn't even holding up the values for which your organization was founded? And I can say this about people from Alphas to Iotas, touching on every organization in between. Let's really take an honest inventory of ourselves and then make better decisions on the people we bring in. But you can't ask anyone else to do something that you're not doing.

Next, I want to touch on the way that we bring people in. Aside from the M.I.P. part, we don't attract people in the right way. Guys, we often stand behind our tables and don't approach the young guys to speak to them. Girls, you all always sit behind your tables. Why do people have to be treated the way you were? That's what perpetuates this cycle of slack Greeks. What makes me any better than any aspirant? Yes, I have what they want and they will still come in the way I came in, but let's at least know that we appreciate them coming by the table or coming to our programs. Let's serve as mentors to these freshmen, regardless of what organization they want to be in.

That leads me to my next point... We tell freshmen not to flip flop but who cares if someone comes to your program and then decides that they want to attend another organization's interest meeting or rush? Especially if it's early on in their collegiate life? It's one thing to come in and tell the whole campus "I'm going to be an Alpha" and then pledge Kapp but maybe the person is genuinely interested in the program you're throwing. Or maybe he is on the fence and wants to make sure his heart is in it. And maybe it's not an reflection on that aspirant but on our ability to really hold up the light of our organization (For more clarification, see Luke 6:42). Either way, we really have to stop being so judgmental because half of us were in the same boat our freshman year (not me but I know plenty of people who were).

And I'm not talking about anyone in particular. But if you think I am talking about you, maybe I am and I don't even know it.



Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Please Be Thankful

"Thank God for granting me this moment of clarity. This moment of honesty" -- Jay-Z

Sometimes I just want to know something for sure. Something other than the fact that I'm going to be successful. I want a sense of stability in life and I just don't have it. I want normal for more than 2 months at a time. But it doesn't happen. That's why I have to be successful. If I'm not, my kids will be wishing they had normal and I can't deal with that.

I really want to be able to complain about stuff like Christmas gifts that I didn't get and the fact that my parents are getting on my nerves for asking me to come home so much. But I can't. So I complain about the stuff that matters like not seeing my little cousins for Christmas or not going to church on Sunday. So often people get caught up in the unimportant things but are you really thinking about what you do have? Probably a lot more than other people.

This isn't a pity post. Were it one, I would have gone beneath the surface. This is a post saying please realize that things could be much worse. Life is good. Even a bad day of life is still a day of life which is blessing. And tomorrow will come. Make the best of your tomorrow if today isn't what you want it to be.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Content of my Character

I hate when people lock their cars when I walk by. Whether I have a suit on or a black sweat shoes, it always happens. Sometimes it makes me really self-conscious about my ability to succeed in America. I am a well-dressed man without any visible tattoos or indications that I would be a robber. I really want to walk up to a car and ask the driver what made them feel unsafe at that time but I feel like they'll take my approach as hostility. So I guess for the rest of my life I will be the well-dressed car jacker. Take a walk in my shoes.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Rule Still Stands

I feel like, no matter how much I try to make people, no one will understand the decisions I make. I live my life the way I do because of things I have learned. I have learned how to care with a callous. I have learned how to love with caution. I know that people are untrustworthy but that you must trust everyone to an extent. Family can not be chosen but the amount of stress that you let them put on you can be limited. Money cannot buy happiness but it's a damn good down payment. Eventually, everyone takes a hard worker and a great love for granted. And eventually, everyone you put any sort of investment in will disappoint you. If they never do, it is because you are a disappointment to them.

All of these lessons are things that influence my decision making. It might not be as visible as the words I have written but at the same time, they impact what I do from day to day. I thoroughly believe all of these statements. I believe in them so much that I post them here with the hopes that some people will prove them wrong. But no one can prove them wrong b/c most people will always prove them right. And that makes that one person an exception, but the rule still stands.

Just felt like venting.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Many Hats

"I want to get away. I wanna fly away" -- Lenny Kravitz

Sometimes I feel like moving far away and starting over. I get tired of setting the standard for success and trying to meet people's expectations of excellence. I feel like there is so much that is expected of me but I am only one man. I'm expected to be the perfect gentleman, a model Christian, the face of Alpha, the dream boyfriend, the well-versed scholar, the polished speaker, the logical advisor, the benevolent provider, the well-groomed businessman, etc. In actuality, I feel like I am just one person who wears so many hats and, in all actuality, I should only be wearing. Still, here I am, in Greensboro, in North Carolina, in the South where none of this will ever change. I have to get away.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

It's My Birthday

World, today I turned 23 years old. I appreciate all of the phone calls, text messages, letters, e-mails, Facebook posts/comments, tweets, BBMs, KiK msgs, cards, gifts, words of kindness, kisses, hugs, thoughts, prayers, et cetra. Today has truly been a blessing. I love all of my family and friends and I definitely am thankful for my siblings (blood and otherwise), my fraternity brothers and my amazing girlfriend who made today even more special than I deserve.

The best gift I could have gotten, however, was given to me by God 2,000+ years ago. He gave me His son and I am very thankful that, on my birthday, I know it's not about me. Without my Father, none of today would be possible. And without him, my first cousin, who was in a car accident 6 days ago, would not be alive. So, I thank God first for letting my 21 year old cousin Damian C. Jackson live and secondly for letting me see this day. This has truly been a great birthday. Thank you all again.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

You Ain't 'Bout That Life

I'm cold but that don't mean I'm chillin – Chris Brown

Some people think pledging is what you did for however long your membership intake process was. I beg to differ. But I’m not the only one who disagrees. Oxford Dictionary says a pledge is “a solemn promise or undertaking.” So when I see people who talked about how hard they went during their 2 weekends (or however long they were going through what they went through) skating through their actual membership, I have to question their understanding of the English language. You say you pledged the hardest, but did you really? You promised the hardest? So where are the fruits of this promise that you made? If I went through something that meant anything, I’m going to make sure I’m giving my all to it because a man is only as good as his word. In all actuality, how hard your process was is shown in your works. And the sad thing is, some people who “pledged” the hardest are doing so much less work than people who didn’t pledge by some people's standards… Or are those the people who actually pledged in the truest since of the word and everyone else just did what they had to do to wear a jacket and step? If you pledged pledge. And if you didn’t pledge, pledge. But don’t wear a jacket and use the network. We often say it but I really mean it, no matter what you went through, if you aren’t holding up the light of your organization, “you ain’t ‘bout that life.”


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Sisters

"Sisters hold you down..." -- Jay-Z

I really wanted to write a post for two of my sisters just because they have played a major role in my life since I met them both in Reynolds. One has held me down for what is soon to be all 5 years. The other has definitely been a friend from the jump but, as our friendship has grown, I have been able to call her a sister. Neither of them are related to me, but they both hold me down every time I need them (and even when I don't want to hear what they have to say). I can say that they both are two of a very few people outside of my siblings and line brothers who understand me. I can also say that they are two people who I trust to no end. I know that, no matter what, if I need them, I can call them. Neither of them have ever asked me for anything and both always think of my well being before they tell me to go for what I want. So thank you ladies. I'm not going to put y'all on blast online but I told you that this post was for you. Thanks. Love you both.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Step Up

One of the hardest things in the world to deal with is seeing someone with a tremendous amount of potential do nothing with that potential. I think that is why I get so mad at some of my loved ones. I have such great expectations for them but they continue to fall short of these expectations. And it's not even a position I want them to reach but rather a point of maturity. The distance between my level of expectation and the reality are often representative of the distance of me from the individual. If I expect a lot and (s)he continues to move forward and steps up to the plate, our relationship shows tremendous growth because I see someone who is really working to better him/herself and I really want to continue to uplift that person. When you're not working to better yourself, all you are doing is letting down those who do or who should be able to rely on you and it's hard for me to want to get closer to someone who, in not so many words, says "I could care less about what you need. I know it's my responsibility but right now I'm going to do me." There is a point we must all reach where we put our own wants on the back burner and put the needs and wants of those who we are responsible for ahead of our own. And if you can't do that, you really have to reevaluate yourself as a man or as a woman.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Can I Do More?

I have a view of life that is so different from most people I know. Everyone says live every day like it's your last but how many of us actually do it? I often put my all in everything I do because of hte fact that I don't believe in a guaranteed tomorrow. I know that it might come but I try to live like, if it does, it was an unlikely phenomenon.

Thing is, I don't just think of my life like that. I think about my family and friends lives like that too. It's 9:10 am. What if I get a call at 9:30 saying that so and so got in a car accident this morning? Would I be able to look at myself in the mirror and say "Even though I miss him/her, I know that I gave my all to every second that God blessed us with." This post is not meant to be long because I have more important things to do than type my day away. What it is meant to do is to make you ask yourself "Can I do more?" Hint: the answer is always "Yes."

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

All I Have

"...(My) word is all I have." -- Jay-Z -- Moment of Clarity

I realize more and more that I really can't trust people these days. I learned to not expect anything from anyone but myself and those who have given an important part of themselves in exchange for a part of me.

If you cross me, I can still be cordial and I can still act like I like you because, at the end of the day, I can probably still make money with you. What I cannot do is turn my back to you and that is because of one thing - I refuse to get stabbed in it. If I do trust you and you stab me in it, that only speaks to the caliber of man/woman you are. And if you think I'm talking to you, I probably am not, but since you think so, I still am and just don't know it yet. Be real. Be trust worthy.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

A Letter to Letters

Dear Greek Life,

You are the reason I learned the meaning that there is a thin line between love and hate. You taught me the meaning of perseverance and, because of you, I gave up on something that mattered for the first time in my life. You taught me how to ask for help from others and how to trust no one but the ones who give you a reason to. You took my money and you gave me siblings. You raised the prices over time and continued to take away the things that represent your organization. You reached deep into the pockets of your alumni members and threatened to remove your foundation, the college members. You gave us an avenue to do service but continually do a disservice to us by continually requiring chapters to pay more and more in dues, while simultaneously increasing intake fees. You teach less, charge more, and cause some members to appreciate less by continually making it easier to join.

True, pledging may be outlawed by all NPHC fraternities and sororities but that doesn't mean I can't pledge myself to giving my all to my letters even when it often asks me and my other Greek peers to sacrifice more than we can afford to.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Citizen of Greekdom


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

I Want Some Ice Cream

"Money can't buy happiness but it's a damn good down payment." -- Fabolous

One day I want to know what it is like to live comfortably. I want to have all financial burdens removed and really enjoy my life. I'm not afraid to work to get there, but I want to go a nice period of my life in which my family and I are able to enjoy the fruits of my labor (and my wife's if she chooses to work after we get settled).

I want to be able to leave the state for a vacation with my wife and kids. I want to get the kids nice birthday gifts and throw them birthday parties. I want a good job that I enjoy but don't have to kill myself doing. I want to have great credit and enough money in savings that my kids won't have to worry about rushing through school so that they won't have to tack on an extra year of college loans. I want to take my wife on a date in a different state at least once a month and a different country twice a year.

I want all of this because I just don't see it as my reality. I have never stepped foot on foreign soil. My family hasn't vacationed together since I was in 6th or 7th grade. My mom was talking to me yesterday about picking up a second job for the holidays just so she could make ends meet when Christmas comes around. I refuse to do it. I can't be broke. I will work at McDonald's as a cashier before I am broke.

Yes, I put a lot of emphasis on money but if you never had ice cream but watched people smile as they ate it around you, you'd wonder what it tasted like. Same thing.

I have to be different. It's that simple. I want too much not to be.


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Going on 2 Years

I put an unprecedented amount of faith in my line because they always hold me down, whether or not it benefits them. I can go down the line and think of sacrifices each of them have made for me and vice versa. I don't care how much we may argue, call each other an idiot, wrestle, or anything of that nature, I know all 6 of them will always have my back. I know I can trust them to tell me when I'm wrong, but more importantly, when I am wrong, I can trust them to stand beside me. They could never do another thing for me in life and I would still be indebted to them forever. And this isn't a knock at any of my other friends because I love you all too, but no one outside of my blood and my wife will ever be closer to me than you all are. That's love.

D.E.A.R. WINtE.R.
Playboi Pi Zeta
Alpha Phi Alpha
Fall 2008

#1. Stevan Dozier ~ Aud-ACE-c.i.t.i.
#2. Brady Moore ~ Born Ident-TWO-ty
#3. Deryle Daniels ~ In-TRE-c.u.t. reBUTTall
#4. Myreon Sutton-Johnson ~ APE-TIME
#5. Alvin Francis ~ Lion-ID-us
#6. Cameron Ragland ~ SphInX
#7. Jeremy Herring ~ END-Avisible


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Only Two Questions

Tonight I realized something very important about myself; I go into every relationship, be it business, platonic, or romantic, with the understanding that I will be let down. Therefore, I look at a good relationship as one in which I am let down the least. One in which my idealistic view of what something should be is not obliviated by the reality that people are innately self-centered.

It is sometimes frustrating because, I still try to uphold my side of what I see as ideal but, after the novelty of a friendship wears off, most people fail to continue putting the same effort into what now seems mundane. It's comparable to school; each semester, everyone says they will do well. They have everything in order. They're going to each class. They're even taking copious notes. But, bit by bit, after checking the attendance sheet, you'll see a skip here and there. Halfway through the semester you are more likely to see them pushing a button on their phone than pushing a pen across their paper. Their well organized notebook has turned into a battleground cluttered with short-lived half-pages of notes, decorated with doodles.

I hate going through life knowing that this is how any friendship, relationship, and partnership will be, but it is all I have known thus far. I will be let down by everyone but me. There are only two questions: "When?" and "To what extent?"


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Lack Thereof

I often see freshmen and sophomores and I try to help guide them the right way, telling them how to dress in a professional setting or schooling them on how they should carry themselves when going into a business-oriented function, be it a dinner, meeting, social event, et cetra. And that is ok because these gentlemen (and sometimes ladies) are young and sometimes come from situations where they never had to learn to tie a tie or eat with the proper fork. Had I not taken it upon myself, I wouldn't have learned how to do those things.

But I have digressed; this post is about those who are seniors and juniors, know about proper etiquette and the resources available to them, and then choose to ignore them. I know I have a lot to learn but at the same time, I'm light years ahead of most people my age in terms of the professionalism I display. And being professional is not always about being the best dressed nor is it about always speaking the king's English. More importantly, it is about your mannerisms. Are you punctual? Are you clean and well-manicured? Can you put together a sentence that can convey what you mean to both the simplest person and to a Rhode Scholar? Do you read?

I don't feel like anyone should find total contentment where they are at any point in life. I want to grow in every avenue until the day God calls me to be with Him. Even though I am good at all of these, I want to become an excellent Christian, leader, mentor speaker, boyfriend (eventually husband and prayerfully father), reader, writer, scholar, athlete, friend, son, brother, and anything else I may do. And when I reach that level of excellence, I want to strive for perfection.

Too many people don't think like this and that is why I am going to be so successful... because I'm Goliath in a world of Kevin McCallisters.


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Up and Coming or Down and Going?

Watching the BET Awards and I have realized 2 things - 1) Rap is entertaining but whack; 2) there is a vacancy in real Hip Hop. There were quite a few good up and coming lyricists in the cypher section of the show but the majority of the mainstream rappers were garbage. The cyphers of Rev. Run and Ice Cube drew attention to this point. Their well-trained flows were evidence of where hip hop once was, as well as evidence against rap's pleas that hip hop is it's foundation. I don't really know what else to say. But be on the lookout b/c some of these new guys are beasts. I hope they step up to the plate... SOON!!!


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

th3 con10ual JOurneY

People say live with no regrets but I believe that having nothing you wish you had not done is unrealistic. There are situations I wish I hadn't been in, people I wish I'd developed a better relationship with. There are even thinking back to my choice of words at times, I wish I hadn't chosen them. I am not saying dwell on the past but that, if you have regrets, have them, learn from them, and let that be that. Too often we have regrets about decisions we make and then do the exact same thing. Where is the maturity in that?

Let today be the day that you begin thinking about your life critically. Everyone always says they want to be happy but I think joy is what we are often in search of. Joy, in my opinion,is a stronger, less conditional form of happiness. Joy is to happiness what love is to like. It isn't just something you find in an instance, but rather something you must work toward and pray for. I was happy when I was single. I am working toward having a joyful relationship with Des. I am happy when I get paid from my job. I will find joy when I am getting paid to do something that I am passionate about. I was happy when I crossed Alpha. Joy came when I death marched off of the fountain with my LBs. I am happy when I have a couple drinks and go out to the party. I find joy in reading the Word.

Is the difference clear?

From this point on, I am thinking critically about life. Sometimes you must let go of short term happiness in order to find joy. And, in that joy, if you realize that it is a continual journey and not a destination, you will find a greater happiness than you could have ever experienced in your state of ignorance.


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Just a Thought

Have you ever wondered if you're making the wrong decision for a second time around? You hope you're not but something in the back of your head keeps serving as a reminder. What if's are worse than any problem because with a real problem, at least you know. Maybe I'm just rambling. Hope so. Goodnight.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Thank Me Now

At this point, me is who I'm trying to save myself from. -- Drake

Living the fast life takes a toll. You don't know when to say no to others and yes to yourself. Took me a while to get to the point where I could do both regularly but I'm finally there.

I was definitely in the same boat as Drake for a while, "spending all of my time with the wrong women." I didn't know what I wanted to do but I knew it wasn't be locked down in a relationship. I wanted to be an eligible bachelor and enjoy my college days. It got old quickly. Then, somehow, this very different young lady caught my eye and there you have it.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Light Up

They always tell me nobody's working as hard as you and even though I laugh it off, man it's probably true... Don't get impatient when it takes too long. -- Drake

Even though I'm trying to enjoy my life, sometimes it feels like even trying to enjoy it is a job. Everyone says when they want to do work when they join a fraternity/sorority but a Greek organization is a corporation so you have to decide whether or not you're going to do the work of a CEO or that of the doorman. It is often exhausting to say the least but I must say that I wouldn't trade my letters for anyone else's.

One thing that I'm learning more and more is that just being smart isn't enough. Success is all about hard work and being there when the opportunity presents itself. I'm always there for the opportunity but for the first time in a while I feel that my work ethic, academically speaking, is matching up with my intelligence. Who would've thought I'd be caught in this life lesson?

I'd already written on Jay-Z's verse August 27 in the post titled "Triple Entendre" so I won't bore my regular readers.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Show Me A Good Time

I live for the night's I can't remember with the people that I won't forget. -- Drake

"I ain't tryin' to look like I lied to these n***as that I came up with." So many people believe that I'm going to make it on to the cover of Forbes that I feel like if I don't, I will have failed. So I live like I'm already there because I know I will get there, and if not there, pretty close.

Short and simple.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Resistance

What am I afraid of? This is supposed to be what dreams are made of. -- Drake

It's 8:00 AM. I am up, getting ready to hit the weight room with my LB, then going to class. At noon I am sitting on a panel with the chancellor and the provost. After that I'm going to pick up a new, tailored suit and then heading to my staff meeting. Greek social, movie night w/ friends, greek social part 2, bed (the rest of the night). Last night I hit the club, no wait, VIP, "Deryle + 7" on the list. Day before that I was chilling with some of my chapter and BE. getting love at the Mr. 1913 pageant. I am turning down good girls because I have a great one. I meet all the right people at the right times. My spirituality is on the come up. I'm one of the strongest candidates for homecoming king. I'm the president of the fraternity. I am really living the dream life.

But with all that, I have lost the simplicity. All the excitement has grown old. With all of that, I often find myself wanting to vacation for a week in my own home. "Nothing really comes as a surprise right now. We're just having the time of our lives right now." Problem is, I miss the surprises. I miss saying "wow, that was fun." Now I say "That was a good party," because of it's level of success and not because it was anything new to me. The novelty of having bad chicks at my beck and call has worn off. All I really want these days is to have a regular relationship without the UNCG tabloids (living breathing publications who can't help but gossip) scrutinizing my every move.

Then there are those who hit me with the "you promised me you'd never change up." And then I look in the mirror and I ask myself if I have changed. I see it sometimes. Other times I just see stronger in the mirror. Can't go back. This is me. Onward and upward.

Keeping it 100, there are even times I need a break from the bruhs. It's just like a real family - if you spend too much time w/ anyone, you'll go crazy. I eat, drink, sleep, workout, and party Alpha, always with a sprinkle of Delta and/or AKA on the side. It's crazy that I got what I wanted, only to find out that everything that glitters really isn't gold. Oh well.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Karaoke

Do you even feel it anymore? -- Drake

This song really resonates with me, especially where he raps. "I hope you don't get known for nothin' crazy 'cause no man ever wants to hear those stories 'bout his lady. I know they say the first love is the sweetest but that first cut is the deepest. I tried to keep us together but you were busy keeping secrets." There was a point in my life (noticeably right after I crossed the burning sands) that I was so focused on my success and moving forward for myself that I wasn't able to give those I cared about the attention needed to sustain relationships, therefore those relationships (both romantic and platonic) fell off. I was replaced in some instances and all bridges had been burned. In others, I had to go back and rebuild. Either way, life keeps moving. As Drake said, "I was was only trying to get ahead." I got there and, thankfully, I able to regain my happiness at the same time. Lesson learned.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Propaganda of History

Today's piece of reading in AFS 410. Just food for thought:

The Propaganda of History
By W. E. B. Du Bois

How the facts of American history have in the last half century been falsified because the nation was ashamed. The South was ashamed because it fought to perpetuate human slavery. The North was ashamed because it had to call in the black men to save the Union, abolish slavery and established democracy
What are American children taught today about Reconstruction? Helen Boardman has made a study of current textbooks and notes these three dominant theses:

1. All Negroes were ignorant.
“All were ignorant of public business.” (Woodburn and Moran, “Elementary American History and Government,” p. 397.)
“Although the Negroes were now free, they were also ignorant and unfit to govern themselves.” (Everett Barnes, “American History of Grammar Grade,” p. 334.)
“The Negroes got control of these states. They had been slaves all their lives, and were so ignorant they did not even know the letters of the alphabet. Yet they now sat in the state legislatures and made the laws.” (D. H. Montgomery, “The Leading Facts of American History,” p. 332.)
“In the South, the Negroes who had so suddenly gained their freedom did not know what to do with it.” (Hubert Cornish and Thomas Hughes, “History of the United States for Schools,” p. 345.)
“In the legislatures, the Negroes were so ignorant that they could only watch their white leaders—carpetbaggers, and vote aye or no as they were told.” (S. E. Forman, “Advanced American History,” Revised Edition, p. 452.)
“Some legislatures were made up of a few dishonest white men and several Negroes, many too ignorant to know anything about law-making.” (Hubert Cornish and Thomas Hughes, “History of the United States for Schools,” p. 349.)



2. All Negroes were lazy, dishonest and extravagant.
“These men knew not only nothing about the government, but also cared for nothing except what they could gain for themselves.” (Helen F. Giles, “How the United States Became a World Power,” p. 7.)
“Legislatures were often at the mercy of Negroes, childishly ignorant, who sold their votes openly, and whose ‘loyalty’ was gained by allowing them to eat, drink and clothe themselves at the state’s expense.” (William J. Long, “America—A History of Our Country,” p. 392.)
“Some Negroes spent their money foolishly, and were worse off than they had been before.” (Carl Russell Fish, “History of America,” p. 385.)
“This assistance led many freed men to believe that they need no longer work. They also ignorantly believed that the lands of their former masters were to be turned over by Congress to them, and that every Negro was to have as his allotment “forty acres and a mule.” (W. F. Gordy, “History of the United States,” Part II, p. 336.)
“Thinking that slavery meant toil and that freedom meant only idleness, the slave after he was set free was disposed to try out his freedom by refusing to work.” (S. E. Forman, “Advanced American History,” Revised Edition.)
“They began to wander about, stealing and plundering. In one week, in a Georgia town, 150 Negroes were arrested for thieving,” (Helen F. Giles, “How the United States Became a World Power,” p. 6.)

for the rest of it go to http://www.nathanielturner.com/propagandaofhistorydubois.htm

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Fireworks ft. Alicia Keys

(Alpha) just changed everything -- Drake

Drake said "money," but Alpha is what did it for me. I can't lie, I got off line and it was like night and day. I went from known to unmistakably recognizable. And not just to the general student population but to campus officials, student leaders, and local movers and shakers. I no longer paid to get into parties. VIP was no longer a booth that had to be purchased but one that I was invited into. Girls who never gave me the time of day were all of a sudden sending me texts from numbers I didn't recognize. "Everything's the same but it feels different." I am still the same height. I am still black. I still have the same personality, just turned up 3 notches. Realizing all of that, I still feel like my life has been altered forever. I feel like I will never look at things the way I did before I pledged. I know life is the same but my outlook on it has changed so greatly that I can't go back to thinking the way I did before. I feel like Neo. I choose to take the old gold and black pill and my level of consciousness was all of a sudden heightened.
With all of that came the negative. "When I hear them talking, I just don't know what to make of it. Hate is so familiar to me, I'm slowly embracing it." It was crazy how many people who I was cool with gave me the lukewarm shoulder after I crossed because they weren't selected. And for every girl who would give me the time of day, that many more wouldn't just because I had letters. It was crazy. In my eyes I am just another guy but, looking from the outside in, I really used to look up to the bruhs before I was one. I used to always hear girls talking about how they wanted to chill w/the bruhs. Now I am the embodiment of what I used to see.
The loss of love came as a result of Alpha. "I hope that my success never alters our relationship." Not even the fact that I was messing with a lot of girls at first, but the perception of such caused a tremendous fault to form in my former relationship of going on 4 and a half years. Though that loss opened up doors for a major gain in the form of Ms. Desireé Bell, it doesn't change the fact that a loss was still taken. "You never see it coming, you just get to see it go."
"My dreams are who I'm racing with but you can see I'm pacing it so that I'm always chasing it." I feel like I am more ambitious than 99.9% of the people alive today. I see no ceiling, only sky. Problem is, I know that I'm going to do it all and after I do, then what? I really have to look for things I haven't done in college yet. I have to do stuff like run for homecoming king and consider running for SGA senator because I feel like I have very little left to experience at UNCG. From the parties to the religious organizations to Greek life to the campus political arena to being a servant, I really feel that I have done it all. I have loved my college experience, I just don't want it to bore me this PHInal year.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Thank Me Later Series

I believe that Drake's CD, Thank Me Later, speaks volumes to the life of an involved young black college male. Many of my friends and I have sat and discussed the relevance that his songs have and the ways we can relate them to our lives. So, over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting blogs related to every or nearly every song on the album. Just something that I thought would be interesting.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Intergenerational Problem

The problem of the Twentieth Century is the problem of the color line -- W.E.B. DuBois -- The Souls of Black Folk

The same can be said about the 21st. In reviewing and assessing Bro. William Edward Burghardt DuBois' work, "The Talented Tenth," I must say that I do not agree with portions of it. I do subscribe to the school of thought that there is a portion of persons in the world (not just the black race, but mankind as a whole) in each generation who are equipped with the tools to lead us toward change. These tools are not necessarily wealth, education or social standing. Were those the requirements to truly be a member of the Talented Tenth, how would change ever come about? Having those tools implies that one would be comfortable in their position in life and thus would not be inclined to prioritize the view that a change that needs to come.

I offer an alternative to this school of thought. I believe that those who will be on the front lines leading change are those who are less fortunate. This does not restrict that population to only the uneducated but instead is inclusive of them, during this generation. During DuBois’ time, I must say that the majority of those African-Americans who were educated were elitists and were not concerned with rectifying the ills of Black America. In contemporary society, because the majority of us are socially conscious, being educated enhances our ability to cure the social ills of today. During the time of DuBois, it was in the best interest of the black elite to remain in “power” with their mouths closed in order to protect their families. Thus, I return to the point that, those who are less fortunate will be the true leaders.

Coming from a working class/sometimes-working class family and having the opportunity to go to school, I can say that, I am more motivated to succeed and bring up those who come from my beginnings than someone who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. It is not that they don’t care. I just believe it is hard to address the source of social ills without having ever experienced them. Too often, upper class persons of every race look down upon the lower class and criticize but never step into the situation. Without knowing the numerous intricate factors affecting ones social situation, it is hard to suggest solutions that will lead to positive change. What talent is it to do well when it is handed to you? The true talent comes from those who have fought to get everything they have and then excel and do well.

In conclusion, today’s Talented Tenth are those who came from low and lower-middle class households. Those who have the intellect to fight through the fact that they didn’t have the resources. Those with the Booker T. Washington backgrounds and the Marcus Garvey backgrounds and the Clarence Thomas backgrounds. Those who took a handout and made it a handful. Without these people, true change would never come because the necessity for such change would rarely be seen.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Clash of the Titans

Why are American children only exposed to Greek mythology and European fairy tales? Why, in the words of Desireé, don't we learn stories from Zimbabwe (which is a word that isn't even in my Blackberry's dictionary. But I bet Germany is... And I'm right). I am sick of my people's history being overlooked time and time again. Why am I sitting here watching Clash of the Titans and not something with an African or Middle Eastern or Asian feel. Why, as a child, did I have to search for Anansi the Spider books but my teachers quickly told stories of the Eurocentric school of thought? We have to force our children not to just read Hansel & Gretel but also Maria and Juan. "We" is not just minorities but whites too. If we don't, how can we progress socially. Let's move away from Eurocentrism and Afrocentrism and just learn about being culturally well rounded.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Zone Out

So much on my mind, but words can't express it. Guess I just felt like posting. Maybe tomorrow with tomorrow will come the ability to express these thoughts...


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Someone

The other day I walked by a woman that I didn't find attractive and one of my boys said something about the fact that she was unattractive. Instead of going in on her, I just thought to myself "Everyone wants to be desired."
I really started thinking about that over the past couple of days. Imagine feeling unwanted, unimportant, and unfulfilled. Realistically speaking, no one can be wanted by everyone but I think everyone wants to be wanted by someone. And if you don't feel that, you probably are not as happy as you can be. Life isn't always about the tangible or the intimate, but more importantly the feelings that come with that. The emotional connection that people have with those who readily show that they really are wanted and needed in every way is surmountable only by a spiritual revelation.
Just reflecting on that lady. Even if I and my boy don't, I am sure that some man will find her to be gorgeous and make her feel like she is the desired person in the world.


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Triple Entendre

"Oooowwwww... H**es turn their heads like owls. I'm the man of the hour." -- Jay-Z

I really love college. I feel like there is nothing I can't do right now. The fast life is crazy but I've still got my foot on the pedal. Last night was bananas but last night was the beginning of the end. At the end of this academic year, I will be alumni so I had to have one last big beginning. I really walked into the club feeling like Mitch from Paid in Full. If tomorrow doesn't come, I know I had a great relationship w/ my Lord, I was a good brother and son, I invested my heart in the real, and I treated people right. I love my life and I will keep living it until the wheels fall off.

Side note: Many thanks to everyone who supported the Playboi Pi Zeta chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated at Epic last night. You all made the night a win.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

How Can We Judge What's Relative

American media/society is always quick to criticize cultures for barbaric practices, but not too long ago we were doing many similar things not too long ago. We condemn cultures for stoning people and, though it is wrong, it wasn't too long ago that white Americans were chopping off the foots of black slaves who did nothing but try to attain their freedom. So before we jump to call other cultures for their wrongs, let us first recognize our own (instead of trying to sweep them under an already full rug). Why is it that we set the standard for what is right and when?

(This post is in response to a story I saw on CNN.com about a woman and man being stoned to death for committing adultery)

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

B.I.L. List

My Blackberry Messenger status read "Thinking...". The young lady who I had adopted as my little sister (and who actually is like a real one now) asked me "What are you thinking about?" I responded "Just all the stuff I have to do this year and what I'm going to do after school." "U can do everything!!" "I know. that's my problem. I want to do everything. But I don't know where to start." "It's ok. Write everything down. Then map it out. Number things by priority." I haven't done all of that yet, but I did write it down. Below is a list of things I want to do by the time I leave this Earth, in no specific order. And, since we never know when that day will come, I might as well start tonight.

Before I live, I want to:
get a tattoo
write a book
graduate from undergrad
work for a Fortune 500 Company
become an executive at a Fortune 500 Company
do missionary work
travel to each continent (Antarctica is negotiable)
get married once and stay with her in a completely committed relationship
bring people to Christ
donate a full year's salary to a charity
have a greenhouse that I care for
hold a public office
be a great dad
earn my Master's
earn my Doctorate
stop cursing
fund a scholarship in the name of my great-grandmother, Ms. Polly Ann Williams
live like Christ
buy my parents and grandmothers homes
read the Bible in it's entirety
not go a day without smiling
be wealthy, but live far below my means
mentor a child from elementary school through college
remain an active brother in Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. in every sense of the word "active"
serve as a District Director in Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.
own my own business
remain well-dressed
surround myself with forward thinking people
read a book per month
maintain a great credit score
remain active in whatever church I am a member of
always be myself, but always let my definition of self grow intentionally
strive for excellence, not perfection
tithe

I am sure more things will come up but I think this is a pretty solid list for a soon-to-be college grad. Now I've just got to make moves toward it. Thanks Torey.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Just Venting

Listening to Lauryn Hill. I'm really just trying to chill right now. As I often say, I feel like I have the world on my shoulders and the galaxy on my mind. Everyone expects so much from me and sometimes I don't think that I can meet their expectations. I am already tired and the fall has not even started yet.

As much as leadership is an honor, it is a burden. If things go right, it's everyone's victory. If things go wrong, it's my fault. No one ever says that, but that's the reality of things. I really just want to get away. I want to go where no one can reach me. But here I am, my head bloodied, but unbowed. So I'll grind it out, take a vacation to my bedroom from from time to time, and pray. That is all I can do.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Rewarded for Stealing

You ever pray for something that you know you needed but that you didn't deserve? And somehow God blessed you with it still? I feel like that all the time. Even when I'm at my best, I'm always falling short and still He gives me what I need. It's like going into Sam's Club and, whether you steal a 72" flat screen or a piece of candy from beside the register, you still stole it. And you know they saw you steal it. But the next day, you come in, hungry and they give you everything you need to go home and cook a meal. Or sometimes they give you a fixed meal right then and there. And even on the days that you do go in and pay, you still are in debt beceause you've done so much stealing from the store before that, no good you do is going to equal the bad that you've done. Still, they generousity is always shown.

Right now, I'm feeling like I need that meal. And it's not always just financially. I just need that peace in my life to know that I really don't have to worry about anything. So I'm praying for what I don't deserve. He always comes through.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

What to Do?!

I want to do it all... I've got a certain lust for life and as it stands, everything is going as right as it can. They're trying to shoot down my flight before it lands. -- Drake

Some people say they can do anything and don't believe it. I say I can do anything and I know it. If I trained hard enough, I could be a professional athlete. If I studied hard enough, I could get into med school and become a doctor. If I utilized my ability to speak well and took the proper steps, I could be the president of the US. My issue is focusing on one thing. I need to sit down and draw out a few plans, prioritize them, and take steps toward the most important. The only limited resource I have is time. Some say I'm cocky. Some call me confident. Truth is, I might be a bit of both but it is because I'm not at all worried about "making it." Success is written in my ambition. I know that God gave me my ability and I humbly accept that, but I also know that he only made one man better than me - Jesus. Aside from him, we are all equals, just with different talents. So, yeah, I am confident thay I'll be at the top of everything I do. My only question is how I'm going to get there.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Business Attire

In my quest for two new suits for the fall, I stumbled across this on Men's Warehouse's site and found that it might behoove some of you gentlemen (or single mothers) to look at it. It is a first-time suit buyer's guide. It gives the basics on what to look for in a suit. Please take notes.

http://www.menswearhouse.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ContentAttachmentView_-1_10601_10051_10051_39163_10653_FirstTimeBuyers.html?displayNav=false




Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Ignorance is no Excuse

The words in the Bible haven't changed... so why has our interpretation?

I can understand that the depth of understanding can always increase. What I do not understand is why people choose to take things out of the Word. True, I knowingly ignore some Biblical rules but I know I'm wrong. That's not right but I acknowledge that it is something I need to work on. If you don't acknowledge that it's even wrong, why would you ever work on correcting it? And if enough people ignore it, will it be written out of a version of the Bible? If the Bible says it, it is what it is. In spite of all the controversy about missing cannons and differences between the Protestant and Catholic Bible, I believe that God makes no mistakes and He wouldn't give us a Bible that didn't have everything we need in it. So why disregard something that He believes we need. Take what His Word says, apply it to the world today, and keep it moving.

If you believe in Jesus Christ, I believe you will make it to Heaven. But if you really believe in Him and His greatness, why wouldn't you want to do what He wants you to do? I'm not saying I'm perfect. And I'm not trying to be. But strive for excellence, I will do. And that only comes through discussion, prayer, and reading without picking and choosing what topics you don't like.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

R3AL

I cannot say that anyone's opinion is wrong if he can substantially and logically support it. All I can do is listen to his reasoning and, after considering his stance, say is that I don't agree if that is still the case. For me to say that I am always right or that my opinion is the best one to have would not only be wrong, it would be ignorant as well. True, my values, surroundings and experiences shape what I see as being "right," and I believe that, because I have a more deeply rooted values than many (if not most), I take the opportunity to step outside of what many would deem my stereotypical surroundings on a regular basis, and because I have had numerous experiences that no one coming from my background has had, I do feel comfortable in saying that my definition of what is the "right" opinion is more well rounded than someone of my age who may be less aware of all that America has to offer. But that does not mean that my opinion can not grow or even be completely changed by simply interacting with them.
This was kind of a random topic but stemmed from my neo Cory and I discussing what is real and what is fake.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Empty Victories

You know, people are often tired of black people "complaining" about our oppression over the years but maybe it is because nothing was done to attempt to rectify the situation. Every "victory" we've had has resulted in us being "given" something we should have had to begin with. We were "given" our freedom, "given" the right to vote, "given" equal opportunities. But we were never given any compensation. Some might say that money doesn't change the fact that it happened and they are right. But I don't believe that any person in this country who is African-American should be paying to go to a public college or university. America could take a financial loss and give us that much but they won't because knowledge is power and that is what the system will not give us. So instead they give us drugs, booze, and a media image that leaves us at a loss in terms of self-esteem.
I know nothing will change but I wanted to throw in my three cents.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Impact

I just had a great talk w/ my brother Cory. It is interesting that those who put the most effort into developing a relationship with us end up having the biggest impact on us. In listening to him talk, I see reflections of myself, Jerm, RJ, and Phil (a few of Pi Zeta's brothers who held down the TR3 and/or tail positions). I often catch myself sounding like Phil or Curtis or RJ. Brothers who really care enough to develop you into a better Alpha man (or Kappa, Omega, Sigma, Iota) are few and far between. It's not just about the money you pay and the letters you wear. A fraternity is a family. Time must be put in. Sacrifices must be made in order to ensure the growth of those in the family. I love my brothers and I am proud when people tell me I sound just like Phil or RJ. And I hope that, when I am a few semesters removed, someone will be saying the same about the newly old Playbois.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Can't Go Home

I don't go home because home is a trap. I look back and so many of my friends who were on the come up are taking major losses right now. They are dropping out of school because they have had kids or had to take a charge because of a bad decision one night or something. It's really crazy. I wish it wasn't like that but I just can't do it. To immerse myself in regression would mean to regress myself and I just can't do it. So if you catch me in Durham or Chap, take a photo. Until I graduate, it will be a rare occasion.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

:::Growing Up:::

Remember when your bestfriend becomes your worst enemy. lollipops turn into cigarettes. the innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Undies turn into g-strings. kisses turn into sex. remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? when protection meant wearing a helmet? when the worst things you could get from girls were cooties? your worst enemies were your siblings. race issues were about who ran fastest. war was only a card game. the only drug you knew was cough medicine. the only things that hurt were skinned knees. and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? ...and to think we all couldnt wait to grow up.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

To all the bruhs...

Something not so serious on the blog. Just some shirt desgins that I found. 06 to all the IC3 COLD brothers of ALPHA PHI ALPHA FRATERNITY, INC.

zoom zoom zoom...
my brothers
I love my BLACK & GOLD.
06!
I got the fever down in my body.
Fever down in my soul.
THAT ALPHA FEVER.






Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Endless Road

I have so many dreams, but don't know how I will reach them
And so many lessons, but don't know how I will teach them
See, I come from little and am destined for much
And it's in my hand... I've got the Black and Midas touch
But I want to do it all and it all can't be done
I'm a prophyte, but still like Neo, I am the one
Limitless confidence. I swallow comp like Jaws
pound-sign, all hetero. another pound sign pause
Really though, I really don't know where my potential ends
I sit looking for a conclusion but this road but it never even bends
Straight shot to success. Obstacles are there, but so what? Scale 'em
Life if full of test and I'm not here to fail 'em
So much to do, and so little time
So I'm done writing for now. For now I'm back on my grind



Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

You Are Appreciated

Everyday I'm learning that it is harder and harder to find good people. I really appreciate the people who God has put into my life. Today, my money was tight, but I ate. My friend who works at a resturant hooked me up with lunch and my line brother (whose money is just as tight as mine) and I combined our money to get some dinner. Life isn't about what others can do for you but rather what you can do for others. And the blessing is that, even when you don't expect it to, all that comes back to you.
More importantly, I want to show appreciation for all the friends who aren't always seen as the reason for my successes. The ones who put the smiles on my face at the most random times. Everyone knows what my family and my LBs and my girlfriend and my real close boys mean to me. That's displayed all the time via Facebook and Twitter. But the people who I can attribute my minor level of success to are the people who aren't always around. It's the cousins and the friends who might send me a random text once every 4 months but it's right when I need it. Or it might be the AKA who just drops a line in the PhirstPham BBM chatroom that says "Everyone have a blessed day." Or it might just be the friend from freshman year who decides to always be there whenever you need to talk. Either way, I really appreciate everyone in my life. Life is too good to let another moment go by without telling someone you know that you love him/her. So that is what I'm going to do. I appreciate those of you who don't hear it from me on a weekly basis. No matter how insignificant a role you think you play in my life, you really might be the one who makes my day.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

We Are Better Than This

"I am my brother's keeper."

Some people really don't realize that the decisions of a few affect the rest of us. As black college educated people, we should be the ones setting an example for the rest of black America. However, I am always looking through crime logs of my home town and my host town and I see young black men getting citations for everything from smoking marijuana to taking indecent liberties. And we wonder why we are portrayed on TV as over-sexed, entertaining coons. I'm just sick of it. We've got to make a change. Obviously if you got into college, you have what it takes to do well here. So let's all act like we've got more than just the bare minimum amount of God-given common sense and excel. We know how to work harder and do better than everyone else. So let's do it.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

We Do More Than Step

Sitting around here watching the trailer for "Stomp the Yard II" and I am kind of getting frustrated. So often, I go home and all people think black fraternities and sororities do is step, party, drink, sleep, fight one another around and wear thematic jackets. That is the very first thing that many of my friends from home ask when they find out that I am a brother of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated. Even when we go into the community and do service on a regular basis, it's not enough. Mainstream, white-owned media outlets are only going to publicize the social aspects of black society. I bet people don't even realize that we have academic standards. Well, let me inform you that we all do hold ourselves to a high standard. We are driven young men and women who take our grades, our futures, and the betterment of our community (collectively recognized as "the black community") very seriously. Stepping makes us money and is a way for us to stay in touch with our past but it is not who we are. I'm not saying boycott the movie, but I am saying do your research. Read and don't take anything the media says for face value. I won't.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

iWork

The greatest rewards aren't the ones we can reap right after we see them, but rather those we have to work to have. It is only then that we truly appreciate them.

Is it more fulfilling to marry the beautiful lady or to spend one night with the lady of the hour? Do you cherish a $20 bill more when your parents give it to you or when you earned every cent of it?

Why is our generation so afraid to work for what we have the ability to earn? Our generation is so knowledgeable that it is crazy. "A single weekday edition of the New York Times contains more information than most people in seventeenth-century England were likely to encounter in a lifetime." And still, many of those people didn't expect anything for free. They were satisfied with their work-filled, relatively insignificant lives. We live in such spendor that we take it for granted. We get bored with all we have because we don't work for it. We don't work for television or the internet or our ability to communicate or travel to see people.

Gentlemen, how much more would seeing someone you were dating mean if you had to walk for a day to see her? Ladies, what if you had to travel 3 days from where you live to purchase the 1 dress you would get that season? We don't have to wait long for movies to come out or new music. Do you know how long people used to wait for a new Al Green record? It wasn't like he was recording mixtapes every month. Or think back to Mozart's times. People had to wait for music to be written and then hear Mozart's composition played by another person who could be getting it wrong. But we sit around, download millions of songs and, after we get through the verse of the song we like, we hit next on our MP3 players.

I really try to be thankful for everything but even I take some things for granted. For instance, my girlfriend often talks about how my Blackberry is always attached to my hand (as it is now). I act like I can't live without it, even though I can.

At the end of the day, all I can do is try to remind myself of what my life could be like. For instance, I know people who refuse to walk a mile down the street. I often ask what they think they would be doing were this 1333 and they say it's not 1333 and, though it's not, humans are still humans. Drink water, and you'll be fine. We are way too high maintenance and we have a long way to go before we realize how far we are from being truly thankful for every blessing.

Just an observation.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Struggles Made Me

I was born with a steel spoon in my mouth and bred in a neighborhood of gold. So I guess that's why I am the way I am. Some people don't understand me. Some people do. I just wish I could show everyone who I am but I can't. So I write and I try to make everyone see. I'm not the hardest. I thank God I've never been the poorest. But I can also say that I have never been the richest. I have faked it and done so well but that just goes to show that people will believe whatever you tell them. Take it for what you may. I'm just me. I'll never look down on anyone but many will look up to me. I'm going to make it. It's only a matter of time.

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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Grad School?

I really don't know what to do after school. Should I go to work or go to school? Everyone keeps telling me I should do school. I can do either and be successful. The question is what should I do to get where I want to get on schedule? I am going to get my masters anyway. I really don't know what to do and I should know. And on top of that, where should I go? I guess going makes sense for 2 reasons. 1 - I want to be able to show America that black men do go on to get their professional degrees. 2 - I'll come out making more money. There is so much I have to figure out. Pray that I make the right decision.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Less Shallow, More Real

So often we think we know people's stories because we know the way they carry themselves. We think that, because people can speak proper English, they come from money. Or we think that, because someone is always smiling, they haven't got a care in the world. I could go on but preconceived notions are endless.

In all actuality, people are very rarely who they initially paint themselves to be. Last night I was talking to my closest friend and she said I lied early on in our relationship. I asked "About what?" She proceeded to tell me and I let her know that I didn't lie but I did intentionally omit the truth. She and I just weren't at the point in our friendship where I felt like I could be completely up front. And it had nothing to do with her but more with the fact that, to the general public, I like to seem like I have it all together. When people sit around in groups with people that they only have a professional relationship with and tell their deepest secrets, I have to ask "Why would you let your guard down that much?"

Until I can say "I trust you," you will know my beliefs, my leadership style, and my personality. You might even know certain things about my life. But everything you know will probably be the same thing that anyone who stumbled across this blog could see. And I probably won't say "I trust you," until you have held me down in some way, shape or form, and until you have allowed me to do the same. How you can have a best friend who doesn't know anything about your life before they met you is beyond me, but in this era of instant gratification, I find us more and more frequently signing up for friends like you sign up for an excercise course in the rec. How about we make people earn the right to be called our true friends? How about we put in the effort that it takes to develop a genuine love for someone?

Just something to think on.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

The Child Who Has His Own

You know what I have realized? People are always going to talk about you, no matter how much good you do. People are always going to test you. People are always going to try to take or give away what you have worked to hard to get. So you always have to find ways to make yourself happy. You have to be able to dismiss what others think and know for yourself that what you are doing is what is best first for those you are/will be responsible for and, secondly, for yourself. Sometimes, there will be no one but yourself to talk to (no skitso). You really have to be able to do for yourself or you will get depressed. So find something you like. Find solitude in the Lord or a hobby or just going on a drive. But find something that you can do alone that will make you happy and do it from time to time. Otherwise, you might go crazy. Just a realization that I have come to.


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

Stick With It

Today I was watching TV and I realized that divorce and infidelity are regular occurrences in our media which is likely why they are regular occurrences in American lives. I hate that this is true, but the media often sets what is perceived as the "norm," and therefore people adapt to that style of living. For instance, the media used to tell black kids that it wasn't cool to read and that is when we, who had fought so long for our right to be equally educated, stopped reading. They say that you come to college to party and that is why so many students work their ways into school and party their ways out. We see things on TV and, because we want to be "normal," we emulate them.

I feel like, sooner than later, infidelity is going to be just as normal as driving. It isn't right but in almost every series on TV, someone is cheating on someone else. Why is it so hard for people these days to just commit? After you reach a certain level of maturity, you should be looking for someone to spend your life with (if marriage is what you are trying to do). The problem is, people get married these days without expecting to spend their lives with the other person. I am surprised at how many people I know get married and say that they hope they stay w/ that person forever. I don't believe in saying never, but I know that, when I get married, I'm never going to divorce my wife. I know this for a few reasons:

1 - "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." -- Philippians 4:13. God is going to be the center of our relationship. Even more important than your family should be your relationship with God. And if you incorporate God into that relationship, how much greater will it be, right? Even in the hard times (and there will be hard times, even in an anointed relationship), God can pull people through it.
2 - I'm not going to get engaged after 3 months after meeting her. No offense to those who do it but I don't believe that I can get to know someone well enough in that short amount time. Even in my current relationship, I couldn't get engaged right now and we are going into our 4th year of knowing one another. There are levels on which you know someone and I believe that the first of those is friendship.
3 - I'm not afraid to work at it. Too many people in our generation give up if they don't get what they want right away. All relationships, but especially a marital one, take a tremendous amount of give and take. The thing is, you don't go into it wondering how much you can take. You really have to be willing to give more of yourself than you're willing to get. If both people go in with that mentality and keep that mentality, the sky is the limit.
4 - I want my kids to grow up in a traditional family with a mother and a father in the same household. There are plenty of people who did fine coming out of single parent households but statistics show that children who have both parents in the home are often more emotionally stable. I want to have children and I want them to know that their daddy loves their mommy and never to question that.
5 - I love the woman who will be my wife. Even though I might not know her yet, I already love her because she is the greatest woman I will ever meet. And if I do know her (I pray that I do), I still think the same thing. So, even when times get tough, why leave the greatest for any reason at all?

Another thing is, habits are not developed overnight. Just because you say "I'm married now," doesn't mean you'll be a great husband or wife. If you were cheating while you were engaged to the person, you probably won't stop just because you have a ring on your finger. You really have to nip those serious habits in the bud. Though you aren't married, treat your relationships as if that person might be with you forever. I want to be able to honestly tell my son that I never cheated on his mother. So why cheat on someone I'm dating exclusively? Or more importantly, why date someone exclusively that doesn't have the potential to have my last name? Going on a few dates is one thing but if I am regularly seen with you in public or if I intentionally introduce you to my mother, it is because there is something about you that I could see myself getting used to. No, I'm not going to pay all your bills or suggest that we move in together while we're in college but I am going to treat with the respect that I believe a man should treat his wife with because who is to say that I won't marry the one I'm with? And if I don't, it does no harm to treat her with that level of respect.

In short, I just feel like a lot of people don't want to make it work. I am not giving myself the option not to make it work. If I'm with you, I'm with you until the wheels fall off. Relationships aren't always happy. Like Frankie Beverly said, REALationships come with "joy and pain, sunshine and rain." But the pain and the rain make you appreciate every reè of sunshine.


Litera scripta manet. - Unknown

1 Word of Advice

Coming up on my final fall and I can already see things falling into place. It's crazy how God gives you what you need right when you need it. I was just telling Des that I really didn't know where life was going to take me. And honestly, I still don't know. But I do know that I have a network that includes and reaches further than White Rock Baptist Church, UNCG, and Alpha Phi Alpha.

If I could give incoming students one word of advice, it would literally be one word - "Network." As a noun, it really means nothing... Verizon is a network. Yahoo.com is a network. Shoot, the city you live in is a network. Making that word a verb is when the noun "network" actually works for you. This summer, I am going to compile a list of people up and down the East coast that I know who are in fields that I wouldn't hate working in. Then I'm going to write them a letter seeing if they have any openings in their companies and I am going to include my resume.

I don't want to come out of school with an hourly job. There is nothing wrong with that if that's what you are doing but it's not for me. I don't need $80,000/year (though God in heaven knows I won't turn it down), but I also don't need to know that, if I miss a day because I'm sick, my budget for that month will be short. Not only did I go to school to get an education, I have worked my backside off to make connections that will not only help me but also put me in a position to help those around me. Reko is going to come out of school after me needing a job. I want to be able to put him in touch with people who can help him. Philip is going to come out after that. I want to do the same for him. And later on for my kids. Networking is not just taking. It is also giving back. I have to put myself in a position to take and give and eventually stop taking but never stop giving.

Litera scripta manet. - Unknown