Only Two Questions

Tonight I realized something very important about myself; I go into every relationship, be it business, platonic, or romantic, with the understanding that I will be let down. Therefore, I look at a good relationship as one in which I am let down the least. One in which my idealistic view of what something should be is not obliviated by the reality that people are innately self-centered.

It is sometimes frustrating because, I still try to uphold my side of what I see as ideal but, after the novelty of a friendship wears off, most people fail to continue putting the same effort into what now seems mundane. It's comparable to school; each semester, everyone says they will do well. They have everything in order. They're going to each class. They're even taking copious notes. But, bit by bit, after checking the attendance sheet, you'll see a skip here and there. Halfway through the semester you are more likely to see them pushing a button on their phone than pushing a pen across their paper. Their well organized notebook has turned into a battleground cluttered with short-lived half-pages of notes, decorated with doodles.

I hate going through life knowing that this is how any friendship, relationship, and partnership will be, but it is all I have known thus far. I will be let down by everyone but me. There are only two questions: "When?" and "To what extent?"


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Litera scripta manet. - Unknown